Wives, Husbands, Children, Fathers

Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. Husbands, love your wives, and do not be harsh with them. Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord. Fathers, do not provoke your children, lest they become discouraged. (Colossians 3:18-21)

Paul gives very practical instruction for the household, and each command reflects both our relationship with God and how that overflows into our family relationships.

Wives are called to submit—to willingly place themselves under their husband’s leadership. This is not a demeaning command but one that is fitting in the Lord (Ephesians 5:22–24). Paul does not say “submit as you see fit,” but that the very act of submission is what honors the Lord. Note: this never condones abuse, for God’s Word is supreme, and husbands are commanded to love, not harm.

Husbands are called to love (agapaō)—to lay down their lives in unconditional, godly love, reflecting Christ’s love for the Church (Ephesians 5:25–26). They are warned not to be harsh or embittered toward their wives. Love is patient and kind, and harshness has no place in a marriage that mirrors Christ.

It’s important to note: these commands to wives and husbands are not conditional on each other. Wives are called to submit whether or not they think their husbands love them perfectly. Husbands are called to love whether or not they think their wives submit to them perfectly. Each is accountable to God for their obedience.

Children are commanded to obey—to listen attentively and follow the instruction of their parents. This pleases the Lord. Even Jesus, though fully God, obeyed His Father in all things as the Son.

Fathers are told not to provoke or exasperate their children, because this leads to discouragement. Instead, they should build them up, stirring them toward love and good works (Hebrews 10:24).

In every role—wife, husband, child, parent—obedience to God comes first. These commands are not given as a checklist for a perfect family dynamic, but as God’s order for His people. And when we walk in it, our households will reflect His wisdom and His love.