This post is going to dig into depression. Society and Christian Culture have come a long way in how depression is looked at, but there is still a stigma around it. Dear Christian, please don’t feed into the lies that you’re alone in your depression, that you’re somehow not saved because of your depression, or that you can’t serve because of your depression. You are not alone and you are very much so loved! Now let’s look at how Jesus dealt with depression and grief and still served through it.
Matthew 14: 13-24
Now when Jesus heard this, he withdrew from there in a boat to a desolate place by himself. But when the crowds heard it, they followed him on foot from the towns. 14 When he went ashore he saw a great crowd, and he had compassion on them and healed their sick. 15 Now when it was evening, the disciples came to him and said, “This is a desolate place, and the day is now over; send the crowds away to go into the villages and buy food for themselves.” 16 But Jesus said, “They need not go away; you give them something to eat.” 17 They said to him, “We have only five loaves here and two fish.” 18 And he said, “Bring them here to me.” 19 Then he ordered the crowds to sit down on the grass, and taking the five loaves and the two fish, he looked up to heaven and said a blessing. Then he broke the loaves and gave them to the disciples, and the disciples gave them to the crowds. 20 And they all ate and were satisfied. And they took up twelve baskets full of the broken pieces left over. 21 And those who ate were about five thousand men, besides women and children.
22 Immediately he made the disciples get into the boat and go before him to the other side, while he dismissed the crowds. 23 And after he had dismissed the crowds, he went up on the mountain by himself to pray. When evening came, he was there alone, 24 but the boat by this time was a long way from the land, beaten by the waves, for the wind was against them.
Before digging into the details of this, let’s look at the bare facts real quick:
Jesus was grieving at the news of John the Baptist’s death. This was His cousin. Whether they were close or not, John was also the prophet sent by the Father to make Jesus’ path straight leading into His coming and ministry, and this news was sad.
In His grief, Jesus withdrew Himself to be alone in a secluded place. This sounds much like depression, at least the pattern that I find for myself.
Jesus took a boat, which would be like us getting in a car and driving, to an isolated area.
Crowds of people, some of who were sick, followed Him.
Jesus saw the people and was moved with compassion.
Jesus served the people: healed their sick, then multiplied food and fed them.
Jesus sends off His disciples and the people and gets alone to pray.
On the surface, this turn of events seems a bit crazy, at least it does to me. Jesus’ family member just died, He’s grieving and very possibly depressed, and yet He can’t seem to get alone and grieve, instead He ends up serving all day…and nonetheless, He’s moved with compassion!
This caused me to ask the questions:
- How did Jesus muster up the strength to be moved to compassion for people and serve them, when He was grieving and likely depressed?
- How do I learn to do this?
I don’t know about you, but I get into bouts of depression for much less than the death of family member, and I don’t feel like serving others, let alone even getting up to shower and be productive. Sure, I may feel like isolating myself, but if people show up at my door, it’s going to be forced smile on my face and that internal irritation is going to build. So how did He do it?
These are the things I’ve gleaned as looking into this and asking the Holy Spirit to shine a light on it for me:
Jesus' isolation had a PURPOSE
23 And after he had dismissed the crowds, he went up on the mountain by himself to pray.
When all was said and done, Jesus did end up isolating Himself again, but it was to pray. This means, His motivation in getting away after hearing about John’s death was not to give in to His grief and depression, but to find comfort in His Father. Yes, it was a desolated place (Strong’s defines it as a desert or wilderness), but we already know that even the Spirit will lead us into the wilderness sometimes and it’s for productive reasons. So while my goal is usually to just not be around other people because of how I feel in my flesh, how much would change if I made prayer the goal of isolation when I’m depressed?
Jesus didn’t just look, He SAW
14 When he went ashore he saw a great crowd…
When the people followed Him, who knows why they followed. It could have been them truly seeking Him, wanting to hear Him teach or be healed, it could have been for entertainment purposes, or any number of reasons. But what we do know, is that when Jesus went ashore, he SAW them. This word in the Greek isn’t just meaning you see something with your eyes. It means to stare at, discern, to perceive. So he wasn’t just looking at them to see them, but to perceive. This is a selfless act, requiring purpose and energy to look beyond the outward appearance.
Jesus allowed Himself to be MOVED
14 When he went ashore he saw a great crowd, and he had compassion on them…
And then He had COMPASSION. This verb means He was MOVED with compassion as He perceived these people and the state they were in. Imagine if He hadn’t taken the opportunity and put forth the effort to really see these people…do you think that movement of compassion would have happened?
Jesus ACTED on that move with compassion
14 When he went ashore he saw a great crowd, and he had compassion on them and healed their sick.
And His movement with compassion didn’t stop at a feeling, it turned into the act of healing their sick. That word for healed (therapeuō) means to wait upon menially, serve; to relieve, cure, heal; to adore God, worship. It’s weird because I think of healing as something really big and exalted, yet it is here considered serving in a lowly way. Did you notice that last part of the word’s meaning? To adore and worship God. Jesus was worshipping the Father by healing these sick people who had followed Him. This means it was the Father’s will to heal those sick people and Jesus was doing it as an act of worship and adoration to the Father.
We don’t know how many hours Jesus was serving these people, but it says “Now when it was evening…” so it seems like a chunk of the day. His disciples are good and ready to send them away, but Jesus apparently hadn’t been completely spent, because He again served them by multiplying the loaves of bread and fish to an abundance. This miracle in itself can be a study all on it’s own, but for now I want to just take note of the fact that it was in abundance. Jesus said He came to give us abundant life, and with the Spirit filling us continually and overflowing in service to others in Jesus’ name, we will do great works (John 14). But if we aren’t asking for the Holy Spirit, who’s power are we really relying on? Our own power is worthless in building the kingdom of God, and in our flesh we can actually do some real damage to His kingdom. Let’s take God up on His promises by asking for His Spirit, knowing He is going to give Him to us.
Jesus REMEMBERED His initial purpose
20 And they all ate and were satisfied. And they took up twelve baskets full of the broken pieces left over. 21 And those who ate were about five thousand men, besides women and children. 22 Immediately he made the disciples get into the boat and go before him to the other side, while he dismissed the crowds.
So the people stuffed their bellies and IMMEDIATELY He sent away His disciples and then dismissed the people. Jesus didn’t wait, as soon as the people were done eating, He sent off His disciples into a boat to go to the other side. I believe this was two fold. One, the Father had a purpose because He knew the disciples were going to face the storm and was going to use it for their good. Two, Jesus still wanted to have His alone time with the Father, even after many hours and acts of service had passed.
I don’t actually doubt that Jesus already felt better than He did before this whole day unfolded, because in John 4, when He was going on an empty stomach and talked with the woman at the well in Samaria, He ends up telling His disciples that He has food of which they didn’t know about; that food being doing His Father’s will and work. Yet, He wasn’t going to deemphasize the importance of prayer regardless of the extensive amount of serving He had just done.
Jesus' FOCUS and MOTIVATION
I see how Jesus mustered up the strength to be moved to compassion for people and serve them, when He was grieving and likely depressed. From the get go, His focus wasn’t on Himself. It was on the Father.
The circumstance of grief motivated Him to go to the Father.
The circumstance of crowds following Him motivated Him to see them, which moved Him to compassion out of His desire to worship the Father by serving them.
The circumstance of having a bunch of hungry people motivated Him to perform the miracle of multiplying the loaves of bread and fish to glorify His Father.
The circumstance of sending the disciples away in the boat was in line with the Father’s will for purpose in their good, and He was motivated and actively pursued quality time and prayer with the Father. (He didn’t walk on the water until the wee hours of the morning (3-6AM) - He spent TIME with His Father)
Throughout all the encounters in this section, and through the whole time He was on earth ministering for that matter, He was focused on His Father. Even to the point of death, it was the will of His Father that guided His way and it should guide ours as well, as children of God and co-heirs with Christ.
Jesus DID, so we too can DO
If you’re struggling with depression, Jesus’ example points us to focus on and spend quality time with our Heavenly Father, who loves us, thinks about us often, never sleeps, and will never leave or forsake us. If you’re a follower of God, having accepted Jesus as your Lord and Savior through His free gift of salvation, you have the Spirit of the Living God dwelling inside of you.
Even if you can’t seem to muster up the strength to serve right now, focus your gaze upon your loving Father and cry out to Him. Let Him heal you, comfort you, revive you, and then you too will go out and serve as Jesus did, in the abundance of His grace upon you.
I have prayed for everyone who would ever read this who struggles with depression too, that the LORD would heal you, lift you up, and that you would run your race well, my fellow co-heir in Christ, and that if you’ve not accepted Jesus yet, that He would reveal Himself to you and break the chains of sin and shame, and bring you into reconciliation with Himself. He is good!
If you would like prayer for your battle with depression, email me at krystalcravenmusic@gmail(dot)com and I would love to pray for you too!